a little better yesterday, not sure yet about today

Yesterday, I woke up stressy but managed to get through the day without an ativan.  My general rule is retching from anxiety or too much nausea from general awful GI issues = ativan.  Although right now I’m trying to struggle through the nausea without taking any since I worry that I am having rebound anxiety.  I had tried not taking any benadryl the night before, to see if maybe the benadryl was having some sort of rebound effect in the AM.

It kept creeping up on me yesterday, and I managed to dodge it pretty well.  Either doing deep breathing (not convinced that helps…or that I’m doing it right) or keeping busy.  I took a walk in the AM before it got hot.  Not a long or fast walk, and there were lots of rest breaks on the way, but I wanted to try something new.  I busied my way right into two hours of pain, dizziness, and intense fatigue though by overdoing it cleaning the bathroom.  I went out with my husband to the mall and bed and bath to look for shirts for him (not a lot of luck) and juice containers for me (just bought a juicer).  I was ok in the stores, but riding in the car, between stores and on the way home, I was having anxiety again.

Last night, by a few hours before bedtime I was feeling fine anxiety-wise.  I was not feeling fine gut and headache-wise but, well, at least it wasn’t everything.  I didn’t take any benadryl again, so we’ll see how that goes today.  I woke up stressy as hell today, but did the deep breathing in bed.  I managed to work my way down after doing that for what felt like forever.  And I even got up before my husband today, which is something I haven’t done practically since this started.

My juicer came yesterday.  I’m excited to try, slowly, some juice today. I was going to start with watermelon, very watered down watermelon.

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