Hopless

I’m feeling a little hopeless. I called a GI doctor I am thinking of switching to yesterday, I had called a few weeks ago and made an appointment, the first I could get when I was sure I could get a ride….in October.  Yesterday, I called to see if I could get in sooner (I’ll pay for the taxi at this point) and the soonest they could get me in is late September.

I’m feeling trapped with my current GI doctor, someone I increasingly distrust to take care of me and manage my symptoms.  For the first time in a few weeks, I’m having a return of that feeling of dread and hopelessness…

I don’t like it at all.

I’m trying to remind myself that there is a cause for this feeling right now, unlike how it was in June.  Right now, I’m down because of the doctor situation, and because I continue to lose weight, feel awful, and I have a muzzy-headed GI doctor calling the shots (questionable shots here too) at a critical time…a time which is dragging on and on.  I need to find some way to come to grips with this so it doesn’t consume me.  It’s hard.

Oh and did I mention my therapist is on vacation this week (again!?)?  Yeah.  Of course.

I’m hoping to get out today, even just for a short visit with a friend.  I think sitting around the house is not good.  It’s tough though, because most days I do feel very bad, and getting out when you feel bad is hard.  But I’m going to try.  I need to take care of my mental health as well as my physical.

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2 Comments

  1. Bobbie

     /  July 28, 2015

    Hi there, Doctors suck sometimes, most of the time don’t they?! Sorry you are having so much trouble. Hope you have a nice time with your friend today 🙂 Take Care, Bobbie

    Reply
    • Thanks Bobbie. They really do. I’m scared that I won’t be able to find someone to help me with this, I’m trying to stay hopeful but it’s tough. Thanks for the kind thoughts. 🙂

      Reply

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