moo

You have got to be fucking kidding me.  You know, body, you’re so fired.  I am not pregnant, and never have been.  I have had my uterus removed in fact. And I am producing and expressing milk from my boobs.  You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.

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27 Comments

  1. Oh, Lord, please don’t let this be next.

    It’s prolactin that’s doing this and I think it’s produced in the pituitary gland as it can happen to men I believe–sure you’ve researched the hell out of this already. I had a high level myself when I saw an endocrinologist yrs ago and she asked me if I was lactating! I wasn’t/haven’t but I think this is some bizarro EDS thing due to the adrenal involvement or ?. I did some research back then (’05?) but since I was asymptomatic, I didn’t poke around too much (plus the fibro Dx and no computer so at the library’s computer looking it up!).

    Oh, soooo sorry. 😦 I would just die and I’m sure you’re the same w/the pregnancy/baby thing. We really could be in the freak show now; we should be paid for our misery!!! I know they can suppress this somehow so don’t worry! Just call your PCP Monday and DON’T leave the house until then. It is sort of weird that you’re 1/2 sweating and then this started. Hmmm. I’m wondering what your husband is thinking at this moment. OK, enough of the jokes–this is really worse than my damn wandering eyes that are off-center! I tried to re-create them just now with Os and parentheses and got 2 boobs, so maybe a bad idea at this time. You can make fun of me for looking like Igor if it helps.
    Hugs ❤

    Reply
    • It is sort of funny, and definitely gross. I know it’s what boobs are for but not my boobs.

      I think it’s the Reglan. My GI doc thinks so too (I paged her after reading up a bit on it…we were supposed to check in last week anyhow and I had left her a message on Friday which she never returned so yeah, she won a weekend page). So I’m off the Reglan for a few days then starting back on less than half what I was taking. Bracing for a return of the nausea. The Reglan was helping, so this sucks. I guess it’s better than tardive dyskinesia so I’ll just count my half blessings on that. I asked her “Does this mean I’m at a higher risk for getting TD?” “No.” she said unequivocally. I pressed her “But I read up on this and apparently there’s some link between low Dopamine and galactorrrhea, so I’m wondering if this is an indication that my dopamine is not doing great on the reglan…” “No…” then she went on to say something vague about hormone levels. Yeah, and if by hormone you mean prolactin, then the mechanism by which that is altered is by blocking dopamine, say with a dopamine antagonist like oh I dunno, Reglan. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2407079

      JFC. I’ll be calling the GYN and PCP on Monday to rule out thyroid, but in the meantime I’m going to assume (a) its the Reglan and (b) that my GI doc is perhaps on her way out because lord that was a dumb answer she gave me.

      Reply
      • Not my boobs, either! (o ) ( o) Those are my eyes turning out; my boobs are not 21 anymore and shrunk along with me and those look like airbag boobs, anyway.

        Hmmm. I wasn’t aware of the dopamine connection.

        I’m hypothyroid (or does it occur w/hyper?) and I know my thyroid wasn’t under control yet when I had the high prolactin levels due to dismissive docs. I hated that doc I saw so have no idea if my levels are normal now or not. Well, that’s the only thing I knew of that caused your current issue: prolactin. Oh, so glad you didn’t get the TD–major freak show there. Yikes. Oh, this is on good ol’ drugs.com for Reglan (sure you saw this), so what’s w/your doc?:

        Endocrine
        Endocrine side effects have included galactorrhea, amenorrhea, gynecomastia, and impotence secondary to hyperprolactinemia. In addition, metoclopramide (the active ingredient contained in Reglan) may cause a transient increase in circulating aldosterone levels and subsequently cause edema.

        I really hope it’s the Reglan–sure sounds like it–and she can give you something else. Oh, it could take forever to see a new GI doc, so she better not act like a turd! What the hell are you supposed to do in the meantime? Wrap yourself in TP? Terrible.

        Keep me posted…

      • She’s not being a turd, just sort of ill informed or talking down to me, not sure which. There isn’t another drug. Not really. There’s one you can get in Canada, supposedly a lower chance of TD, but still can cause boob-leaking. I’d take boobleaking over TD. My chief concern was that the boobleaking was a like a heralding sign that my dopamine is getting whacky, which is a short road to TD from what I understand. And yes, I most definitely want to avoid TD – it looks painful, both physically and emotionally.

        Pads in the bra I guess is how I’ll go. It’s not like I’m gushing, but I don’t want to START gushing at work, you know?

      • Got ya! I would be worried about the TD and low dopamine–that’s Parkinson’s City so why wouldn’t it occur? I so hate that you got the GP! Well, let’s hope that you’ll do OK on a lower dose and the GP will still be controlled. Fingers crossed!

        Yeah, just throw whatever in your bra and get to work. 🙂

        So sorry… I’m really feeling for you and WILL stop with my stupid jokes. It’s the only way I can get through my own crap.

      • It’s ok. I think I have some old minipads in a drawer or something.

        I hate that I got the GP too. It’s really difficult.

      • I know it is. 😦
        I just realized why your drug sounded so familiar earlier tonight. It’s the one that you can be in a class-action lawsuit for if you develop TD! Am I right? I swear those are on TV every 5 mins here. It’s stated in the side-effects, so why can’t you sue for this mess too? Oy vey.

        I’m off to bed so I can get 4 hrs of sleep before my long day tmrw. Ugh.
        Hang in there–I’m still hopeful that a lower dose could be a win-win. I often get by that way as I respond to some drugs, but have to take liquids at times due to dosing/side-effects.

      • Yep, that’s the one. So you can see why a symptom that suggests this is having a bad effect on my dopamine receptors would be a bit scary. Wish the GI doc could see that, it’d make me feel more reassured if she had said “yes, but this is a very early symptom and a different set of receptors” or something like that….instead of just sounding kinda ignorant.

      • I know–that’s why I called her a dud. Tater tot if you will.

        I’ve had the longest day but kept thinking what a jackass I am for making light of this. I’m really sorry–honestly! I have this bad habit of hiding behind my humor, like right now! I’m so utterly disgusted with what I see since getting the painful sclerals that I’m almost glad I can’t wear them more than a couple days a week (how sad is that that I’d rather be 1/2 blind), but then I spend hrs writing a funny post about it! I guess it’s how I cope. Sigh. I just felt like I really owed you an apology b/c I do NOT think any of this is funny (you or me) and am really acting like Larry David right now, once again. And what a schmuck he is. EDS is such a blow to my self-esteem, which used to be rather good despite my mother trying to destroy it my entire life. I really want to stick my head in the sand, but I’m like you and don’t know how. Sure am pretty good at sticking it up my ass right now (OK, little joke there, but on me).

        Feel free to smack me through the screen. Do keep me posted, please! I’m worried about you! I’m off to bed after my 12 hr day w/PT and dealing with my car–1/2 way done with that. Argh. Another long day tomorrow with the vet oncologist, car, errands, painful sclerals, and then a break!
        Hugs…

      • Oh god I’m sorry you were feeling bad about this. Please, it’s ok. I have a very inappropriate tendency to make light of this sort of thing. You should see the picture I drew of myself. Just the thought of it made me laugh out loud. I’m not gonna scan it but it’s me with wonky eyes, bald patches, clenching waggling hands and mouth, and wet stains over my boobs on my shirt. I laughed like an idiot while I was drawing it. It’s therapeutic. A lot of people don’t get that there can be humor and still sincere sorrow too. I assume you do. Look at Mel Brooks’ “The Inquisition” or “Springtime for Hitler” numbers. I assumed it came from my Irish background, this tendency. It’s certainly something I was raised with, then worked in when I was a unit secretary. You have to laugh sometimes or you’ll spend the whole day crying. So for the record, I do not think you were insensitive. I was in the same mind-set. Please let yourself off the hook.

      • Oh thanks, D!
        I was just feeling awful–and it is some cultural thing with me and I do offend people a lot–just like ol’ Larry and his twin, my father. Argh. Had no idea the Irish were like us! Yippee. So glad you drew the picture too–haha. I’m dying! It does help me cope, not that I’m not thinking about how I can have surgery w/o anesthesia and narcotics and scarring to fix my Igor eyes. That’s been on my sleepy mind since getting up at 8am!!!

        I’m up so sleepy and rushing, but just wanted to say that I’m so glad I found you–although I haven’t read the reply to my long ass comment while 1/2 dead yet. Has to wait ’till tonight. You’re my only friend on here with all the weird health crap and no kids (kinda big) and the humor–plus all the big words I have to look up. You do make me feel like I’m not in the freak show by myself. 🙂

      • I should needle point that comment on a pillow.
        I’d have to learn how to needle point first though.
        I always had a lot of sympathy for Larry. So much of his trouble was from trying to enforce the very principled rules he tried to live by himself. The character reminds me a lot of my sister actually. She got into a race with a man on a sidewalk who she said kept trying to walk in front of her but wasn’t keeping up a fast enough baseline pace to warrant his having passed her. Finally, after they passed each other several times, she hit him with her umbrella. Really. Truly. Larry David, your dad, and my sister.

      • Hahaha! Love that. I’m still awake btw (I think I’m on 24 hrs now), but am really going to bed! I swear. What is my problem? Your sister’s story doesn’t sound too far fetched there. Yep–Larry, your sis, my dad, me. One big happy family. I know you don’t get along with her though. :/ I do have the standards that I expect everyone else should follow and it drives me crazy! Only difference is Larry never really feels bad about his behavior–I mean, I know when I’ve overdone it with someone I care about, and then I think I better apologize. If it’s some random a-hole, then forget it! I can’t count how many people I’ve gone off on, but they really deserved it!!! Dammit! That’s the difference between my father and me at least–Mr. Narcissist who has never apologized in his life.

      • I don’t get along well with my sister, we haven’t been speaking since Fall of 2011. So yes, these are very hard to get along with people. And she is lacking exactly what you expressed, the knowledge of when you’ve gone too far and the feeling bad for it. She may recognize it now and then, and then she just gets madder at the person who triggered it for making her feel bad. Oh boy!

      • Yeah, sounds very familiar. Some lack of empathy involved there. Well, I hope I’m just a Larry spin-off then. 🙂

      • 😉 We should make a Larry Questionnaire. Question 1: Do you stop people and lecture them for doing things that you consider to violate the social contract? ….

      • :). I think I do that sometimes. Haha.

      • I totally do. It’s like I can’t help myself sometimes, I’m there thinking “no, you know what just walk away and don’t do this” but then my inner baby sitter takes over and says that this person needs a lecture on WHY that wasn’t ok.

      • Oh, phew! I go crazy in my car, especially now that I drive with the sclerals, b/c no one uses blinkers here and then I hold my hand up and make this blinker sign while screaming at them with all the tinted windows rolled up. Lol! 🙂

      • Ah, you’d fit right in up up here where I live, we yell “use ya fackin blinkah!”

      • Lol! Everyone always told me I acted like I was from the E. Coast in general. Seattle is the land of courteous drivers, but moving south turned me into a road rager. I don’t know if it’s the Chicago blood (E. Coast to me!), ethnic thing, or what? I love your accent and will have to read your posts with it from now on–no Rs. I always forget you have one. 🙂

      • I used to sound straight out of Good Will Hunting but then I went to Big Jewish U where no one was from where I was and only “the help” (as one boy put it) talked like I did. And then I lived in hippie midwestern city for 5 years while married to the Residency. And now I really don’t have much of an accent unless I’m really really tired or otherwise neurologically disinhibited. Living up here again – especially living for three years in my home town – has definitely primed it up. I hear/feel myself saying words now and then and I’m like “oh my, where’d that come from?”

  2. Oh shit. What next? Hope you get to the bottom of this soon.

    Reply
    • Thanks Mo. I just didn’t need another medical mystery this week. 😦
      I’m off the Reglan for now, we’ll see if that helps.

      Reply
  3. The help. Lol! I love Good Will Hunting–one of my top 10 and I saw it one of the times I was living in Mexico. I had an old, uber-liberal poli/sci prof from your city and loved the accent and lack of Rs. I thought I had a Kennedy in front of me, but he was Italian. Good stuff. 🙂

    Reply
    • One of the few times I heard the accent totally nailed by Hollywood. Good stuff indeed! I miss my accent, but I realize that the lack of it gives me a social mobility that would otherwise be difficult. People are better about it now, about regional accents in general I think. Not 100% but better. It’s a very working class accent and it concerns some.

      Reply
      • I hear you. I enjoy it being from the NW, but I get it. There was an episode of some show… Oh, King of Queens where the wife (not great with sitcoms) tries to lose her NYC accent for a job–so funny b/c I can’t do it! I try to say coffee that way and still sound W. Coast! I had a PTA here from the Bronx who was so loud–and I’m loud–and no word had an R and I’d tell him I was now deaf and didn’t understand his English. He was super funny so all in good humor.

        Ah, Good Will Hunting. Well, they’re natives so there you go–I love the scene where Will has the interview and explains why he can’t take the job cracking codes and there’s some word sans R that he keeps saying that is the best–what was it? Oh, that was a great one and I hate Hollywood, but they were so young and to pull off that screenplay and acting? Good one.

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