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Ok, it’s bugging me now.  I had the weekend without work to distract, got blown off by brother, and hubby was at a conference all day Saturday.  So I think I spent too much alone time with very little to keep my mind off the results I’m waiting for.  Or maybe it’s that this is the start of the week I find out about them.

Every Sunday, evening, I find myself taking a mental inventory of my week.  It’s like balancing your checkbook (anyone remember doing that?) before you go shopping.  How much do I have?  What do I need to get?  How much can I spend on each thing?  Last night, I was doing this, starting to run through my week in my head.  Work from home Monday – find and buy rare out of print book for student who is blind so we can cut and scan it, write to professors who still haven’t sent me their syllabuses (syllabi?), continue cleaning up and formatting books for one student with low vision and articles for student who is completely blind, log all time spent on each task to send to boss to help justify the strangeness of my working from home.  Tuesday – work at work.  Process mailing, hold office coordinator’s hand while she does the mail merge I requested.  Record audio for training video, run speech to text and create captions (ugh, 14 minute video…will have to break into chunks because I know my computer cannot handle this processor-wise).  Nag professors.  Edit.  Leave work for intern. Wednesday.  Wednesday – get up early and don’t eat or drink anything, pass out in a lab, then go see my primary care to find out if I have antineuronal antibodies suggesting paraneoplastic syndrome.  Go home and clean to prep for inlaws coming.  Thursday – vacation!  Clean for inlaws.  Lay on couch.  Friday – work at work.  No appointments.  In law prep done.

This weekend, we had a return to subtropical weather here in New England.  Ugh.  This shit is killing me.  My bp barely got over 90/50 yesterday, lots of dizzies, lots of eighty something over forty something readings on the blood pressure monitor. I really thought it would rain at one point.  The clouds rolled in, the leaves turned over, my head felt like it was going to pop and the air was heavy.  But instead the sky absorbed the nastiness and the sunlight came back, thicker and hotter than it was before.

photo of dark clouds over a street

heavy sky

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  1. Love the pic of New England and my goodness, that looks like a monsoon is a comin’. Horrid. I also wanted to add that even with my vision, I still balance my checkbook!!! My father (the accounting major drop-out) taught me how to “reconcile” my checkbook when I was in my teens and I have to do it! It’s so off now due to not being able to see the numbers or debit slips well, but I can cross if off the to-do list (written with the Sharpie). Lol. Such an A-Type. I couldn’t for months after CXL and was going bonkers. I don’t know anyone who knows how to do that but my dad (also used ledger books)! Welcome to the club.

    OK, this is where the madness comes in. You are a highly efficient person, which is how I am, not to toot my own horn–but true. It’s why you have your whole week planned out in your head and I do the same with my big calendar since I’m all visual (how sad). When we have to deal with complacency or whatever it is with these doctors’ offices (or work), then everything goes to shit as you already see the goal and all the steps to get there and get it done, but these people just have to stand in your way. I deal with this chronically (and in my working days) and it’s my biggest pet peeve in the world. I just want to bulldoze all of them, but that doesn’t always work. It just adds up to more stress for those of us who know that “if you’re going to do something, do it right.” And so we sit and wait…


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