None shall pass…


I passed out again.  It was on the way to the gastric emptying study two weeks ago.  And so far, my husband has not yet broken his streak of handling this so well that I do not actually and completely lose consciousness.  So should we call it passing out then?  Well, we can call it a “near syncopal episode” but most people don’t know what it means and plus I get funny looks for talking fancy.  The girls (and yes, they were girls) at the nuclear medicine suite clearly didn’t understand.  At my time 2 scan, one of them told another that I was “feeling a little dizzy”.  I said, wearing my “bite me” bat t-shirt (an unconscious clothing choice that morning):  “No, I’m not a little dizzy.  I passed out in the car on the way here.”  Because when I lose all my vision and hearing, and can only make animal noises and retch while sweat is pouring off me in buckets and I am a shade of green white with rolled back eyes in my zombie looking sunken sockets, I count that as a level way past “a little dizzy”.  A little syncopal.  “She’s a little syncopal today…”  That’d be better.  By scan two, I insisted they scan me with the chair behind me as I’d requested at outset, you know, when I told them about the syncope in the car.  It was that repeated request which prompted Girl A to say to Girl B that I was “a little dizzy”.

Oh girls.  I should’ve made them check my BP.  Maybe that would have made a difference.  70/ anything usually raises a clinical eyebrow or two.

My husband is very proud of his record.  While I am extremely happy about it, and also pleased that he is handy with dealing with me when the upper brain checks out due to lack of blood flow, however the superstitious part of me thinks he shouldn’t tempt fate with displays of hubris, like issuing a triumphant “woo! unbroken streak!” on the way home after the test.  In some ways, his streak has actually made me more apprehensive about passing out elsewhere.  This is because I know that the reason I have not yet had a total loss of consciousness with him is because unlike most people, he actually does what needs doing when I am going under.  In the car, he helped get my seatbelt off and recline the seat way back, then put my legs up on the dashboard.  This is what I need when I am passing out. I need to not be upright, strapped into a car or plane seat (yes, plane.  I passed out during a landing in Brussels once).  Out for an evening with my friend the nurse?  Passed out.  All the way out.  At home on the toilet with ex-husband M.D., total loss of consciousness (again, upright and him too timid to come help get me off the can while it was happening – it was a narrow bathroom so on the can meant you sat with your knees practically touching the opposite wall, and boxed in between the sink and the tiny tub, hence the uprightness and difficulty getting myself off the toilet).

Why did I pass out?  I think a month of nausea and vomiting might have had something to do with it.  My normal horrible nutritional status has just taken a big nose-dive.  And while I try to drink, who wants to when they feel like it stops about halfway down their esophagus?  Now that we’re moving into warmer months again, I think it may be time to do the IVs again for a bit.  We’ll see.  GI follow up next week.  And in the meantime, I’m making soup and had the genius idea of buying some babyfood for lunch at work.  Yes, babyfood.  You empty liquids better than solids.  Let the good times and stupid questions roll!

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  1. Ugh! Sorry you have to chronically deal with this. Sounds like classic POTS to me. I don’t have that either (went blind instead), but my BP hovers in the 80s/60s. I get super dizzy if I crouch and get up, but rarely do that anymore due to my knees. So worried this will be next as my vessels continue to weaken and stretch out.

    I’m super malnourished too and hovering around 100 lbs (was a normal, very muscular 127 lbs on the dot from 18 until I got sick–the higher dose doxepin I took for my GI issues then added a bit of weight). I looked so normal!!! I started a multi recently (thought of you) and have no idea what else to do?

    Are the IVs you get vitamin cocktails b/c a snake oil fibro place gave me one of those before and I got really sick and puked the rest of the night. Think it was called a Myers’s cocktail–also killed my arm. I think the baby food is a good idea for you–I syringe-fed my cat that way twice (for months) and kept her alive–no joke. Can you do protein powders? I can only do rice protein in water, but I mix it with hot tea and don’t notice the taste anymore. Just eat to live. I’m so lost and don’t think anything will help. Do you ever wish a mad scientist could create the perfect food you could eat and survive off of and just call it a day? I’m sure it’s just adding to your syncope as my hypoglycemia is coming nightly out of the blue now and I just reach for the sugar with my shaky hand as the sweat pours off my body. I sometimes wonder how many minutes I have before I’ll hit the floor. Well, truly am sorry you’re dealing with the malnourishment and syncope all in one–and the stupid girls (lol). Not fair!

  2. A: I was in the middle of writing to you when I was hijacked by my gut yesterday. So here’s what I was writing today (still open in my browser from when I ran to the bathroom):

    I’ve never done the myer’s cocktail. Did do some IV supplements, Mg burned like hell. but otherwise, it was ok. We stopped it just so we could infuse faster to get me more fluid-replenished. I haven’t done the IVs in a while, if this gastro stuff keeps up I think I’ll be looking into it again.

    😦 I hate thinking of you with nightly low sugar. It’s awful.

    • Aw, thanks for thinking of me when I’ve sweat out all my bodily fluids–talk about needing an IV! Haha! I’m about to eat more gruel (rice) and go to bed (hope I can avoid it tonight). I’ve passed out before (mainly from gross things) so I rate the feeling about the same. Awful! So sorry you’re dealing with this on your end. Please post if you do these IVs–no one’s even tested anything but B12 on me–typical (that was like zero). I know my issues are from living off 5 foods vs. malabsorption (makes sense), but what’s the alternative? At least I’m not tied to the damn WC! Lol… Little Brother there–I say the same thing. 😉


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