taste test

I am hungry, but eating means pain.  And lots of toilet time.  I can’t do this at work – hence I can’t eat at work.  Dinner the last two nights has been rice, chicken broth, and Sleepy Time tea (an excellent stomach soother).   But I find myself looking at the girl scout cookies and the beef stew and the baked ziti from last week, before this all started, and I WANT.

The last time I lost weight this rapidly, I went down to 112/113 before it stabilized.  I am nearly 5′ 5″ so that’s a BMI of 18.6, one tenth of a point above not just skinny but seriously underweight.  While we tend to think of weight as something that is only unhealthy when there’s too much of it around (ah western culture), there are in fact quite a few long term health risks that increase with extreme lower weights.  And that’s not even touching what plain old malnutrition does to your day to day wellness.  In a nutshell, you feel horrible.

I seem to handle liquids better than solids, if I sip.  So I’m going to try some liquid supplements.  Tough since I am lactose intolerant though.  I remember when I was little and the lactose intolerance was in full, undiagnosed swing.  “Failure to thrive” was appropriate.  I was tiny.  You could easily count my ribs all the way up.  I’ve wondered sometimes if  I was supposed to be taller – when I was a teen my mother tracked down her biological mother, who had had 4 other children some years after having and giving up my mother.  All of them were amazons – three women all at the 5’11” and over mark and the guy was just enormous.  I never got his height but I saw a picture of him on horseback – you could see from the proportions that he was friggin huge.  “Stretch” would be an understatement.  My mother is 5’10” and my brother is 6’4″.  And there I am, just under 5′ 5″ and looking exactly like a “mini-me” version of my mother and amazonian aunts.  When I was having all these troubles as a kid, the doctors suggested shakes and various other milk based food products and supplements to bulk me up.  Needless to say, those were difficult years.

So I will not be doing the milk laden supplements thing.  I will be trying two items, Carnation Instant Breakfast lactose free and Boost.  I considered Pediasure, but I’ve tried Pedialyte and that stuff tastes horrible.  I’m hoping we can find single cans/bottles at the stores locally before I have to shell out for a case of something that might not be very good.  Wish me luck!

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