gone

My cat died Thursday night.  We don’t know exactly what was happening with him physically – on the last day, he went back to the vet for an ultrasound of some of the lumps and a needle biopsy, but he had gone so far down hill.  On Tuesday, two days before he died, his bloodwork had had some abnormalities, but nothing that suggested whatever processes were going on were so advanced.  While I am glad that he didn’t linger on for too long so sick, I am sad that it was so quick that we were unable to do much to relieve his suffering at the end.  He died while I was on my way to the vet, knowing that I would be putting him to sleep when I arrived.  My husband was there though, at the end, and held him while he was in respiratory failure and the techs tried to administer oxygen.  They gave Max a shot of valium to try to calm him, and as my husband was still holding him, he stopped breathing.  It’s been a very sad few days, with more to come I’m sure.  The vet said on Thursday afternoon that she suspected there was some infection going on – they had found evidence of pleural effusion, pancreatitis, and endocarditis that afternoon.  On Tuesday, he had only an elevated WBC count and was anemic.  I’m hoping that at least nothing we did worsened the situation.  The vet has sent off the lymph aspirate and the fluid they drew off his lungs near the end for analysis so we may have some idea next week what happened.  I do feel the need to know.  He was not a very healthy cat, he was old and had had some significant digestive symptoms for years.  I don’t feel shocked, I’ve been preparing for this every time he would go into a flare where he’d go off his food and lose weight.  But I wish the end had been less painful for him.

Orange and white tabby sitting in "cat tree" at a window while morning sunlight fills the room.

Max August 2010

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3 Comments

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray for comfort for you and your husband during this difficult time.

    Reply
  2. Please know I am thinking of you fondly. May you be comforted in the light of love, today and during the tough road ahead.

    That’s all I can think of when I look at this photo of Max: love, light, warmth- but not that awful overheating sensation, and joy.

    Sending hugs of support.

    Grieving with you,
    -Q

    Reply
  3. R. G. Maines

     /  November 21, 2010

    I’m so sorry! So very sorry! I know how this feels, the hurting not so much for your own loss, but for the inability to ease their suffering.

    I’m here if you need to talk about anything, you can email me. I’m going through some unsettling things with Kodiak right now, so the mutual understanding would be welcomed.

    You have my ((Hugs)) and you’re in my thoughts! oxox

    Reply

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