never fails

Why?  Why is it that the only times I get a pre-bed time night snack craving, it is invariably after I have brushed my teeth?  I’m all fresh and minty and programming the coffee maker, or just closing things up in the kitchen, or moving something off the coffee table and BAM, there they are.  The gourmet cookies, the fun sized snickers bars, the dark chocolate hershey’s kisses, the left over Italian bread, the meatball in the refrigerated spaghetti.  Saying “ahahahaha!  To hell with your dental hygiene and plans to go to bed at a decent hour!  Have a snack!  Do it!  Put me in your mouth!”

Normally, or at least often, I’d ignore that.  However, I’ve discovered that what I take to be whims of appetite (thinking “hm, that yogurt I didn’t eat at lunch looks kinda good” when I’m 1/2 hour away from leaving work) might actually be warning signs that I need to eat something.  I’m not sure of the strength of the correlation, however I think that it extends beyond food and into things like wanting to lay down when my blood pressure’s low.  I know, this doesn’t sound like a blog worthy revelation (but you don’t know this blog if you’re thinking that).  Ok here’s the part that I found striking.  It’s that I skip noticing the physical sensation of hungry or dizzy/faint and instead consciously experience a desire to engage in the outcome/remedy behavior. And then, I’m so god damned busy at work or so committed to my schedule (and my oral hygiene) that I chalk it up to a whim and dismiss it.

And then I feel like shit.

So yeah, this is revelatory for me.  Apparently I need to learn to pay attention…if not to my body (I think this is a lost cause…chronic illness makes  it a good minute to minute strategy to tune OUT the body sensations) then to the little wee voice saying “oooh, you know I really could go for a gatorade and some orange chips right now”, then translate it into a statement of needs which I should attempt to address.  Because boy, if I’m too busy to eat a yogurt, then odds are I’m too busy for the blood sugar nadir that’s going to hit in about 40 minutes.

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