look ma, no hands

No IVs in my hands.  We did it last week when I had my fluid and vitamin/Mg infusion but this week, well that didn’t really work out.  Remarkably, I went in not feeling too crappy.  Remarkable since my baseline BP was 84/47.  The stick?  Didn’t go so good this week though.  And out I went.  Slow and ugly, as usual.

What I find sort of, well not really amusing – bemusing?  is that a word?  What I find perplexing is that no matter how much I warn them, medical staff always seem genuinely taken aback by these little passing out/vagaling episodes: the time I passed out on an RN friend while out at a restaurant (“your eyes were rolled all the way back in your head, and you’ve got BIG EYES!”); the time I passed out from one too many misfired jabs with an IV pre-endoscopy (“you had a seizure!”); and today “You warned me, you did, twice.  But you were so pale!” said the nurse as the ambulatory care unit director stood there looking at me with a tight little frown on her face (“she asked for help and I was free so that’s why I’m here,” the director told me as I swabbed my sweaty, apparently sheet white face with a wet wash cloth).

I have a theory.  I have a sort of, uh, dramatic face.  High cheekbones, “big eyes” that are somewhat deep set and have the constant dark circles under them even when I feel great, a long nose, dark hair and eyebrows, and a large-ish mouth.  Think Mediterranean bone structure meets Irish complexion.  And I’m thin.  So my theory is that this sort of face, when it isn’t getting a lot of blood, looks extra dramatic.  And it provokes this response of “holy shit look at that” in health care providers who are not easily flapped if not unflappable.  BP was 70 over something, which I’m sure does not do wonders for my already shadowy, long, pale face.  Well that’s my theory anyhow.

“Do you want to do this today or come back another time?” the director asked me.  I explained that part of why we’re doing this is because I’m walking around half passed out most of the time anyhow, and with the BP being in the toilet today, it probably is in fact a good day to get fluids.  I shoveled nutter butter bites into my mouth and took my florinef – like that was going to instantly perk up my blood pressure, was left alone for about a half hour, and then they came back with someone from anesthesia to have at the vein in my arm instead of the oh so achey and hard to stick ones in my hands.

Anesthesia nurse, you rock.

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