worse

So I was sitting in my car waiting for the taxi to take me home because I felt too shitty to drive (sorry little car, I’m abandoning you at work, again).  I was getting worked up about still feeling shitty, or feeling shitty again, depending on how you look at it.  OMG this is so limiting!!!!

Then my cab arrived.  It’s always so sudden when they arrive, no matter how long you’ve been waiting.

On the way home, we got onto the topic of education – how much it costs in this country.  Health care – how much it costs in this country.  As we were nearing my home, I asked the driver if he had any children (he had brought up his wife, who is American, and how she was thinking maybe they should move to another country).  “I have one,” he said looking back at me in the mirror, “and another on the way.”  “Congratulations” I said, because that is what you say.  He wiped his hand over his face and said “The first one is only 21 months.  My wife – had a difficult pregnancy.  I don’t know how we will do this again.”  “I’m sorry” I said, because I really meant it.  “But what do you do?  I think maybe she should have an abortion, but then the guilt” he pushed his fingers to his forehead in a sharp gesture, like he was pulling something out or pushing it in.  “I feel guilty even now, thinking of it,” he said.

So now what was it I was upset about?  Oh yeah.  My problems.

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3 Comments

  1. queenofoptimism

     /  July 20, 2010

    Your posts are so powerful, Dyspatient. I feel like I was there in the cab with you.

    As weird as this sounds, I wish I could help pick you up from work. We could talk about our shitty days and somehow I think it’d be very beneficial for both of us. Some days we might need to call a cab together, though.

    Reply
  2. R. G. Maines

     /  July 21, 2010

    Why is it something always slaps us around when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves or focused on negative things? It always happens to me, that when I’m feeling badly, feeling down, someone dealing with something much worse always comes along and ‘schools’ me on strength and perseverance.

    Life has a way of moving us forward even when we’re dug in!

    Thanks for sharing this… always meaningful and insightful.

    ((Hugs))

    Reply

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